Lifesaving. Writing this blog and publicly sharing it has been one of the most powerful influences on my recovery. It has kept me focused on my health, forced me to be honest with myself, and has helped me to face head-on some of the thoughts and emotions I would otherwise keep stuffed deep within. Especially the guilt that still lingers around how my anorexia affected my kids. Most importantly, since going public with my disease two and a half years ago, I have become a much happier person, free of secrets, shame, and fear. I've been blessed by the fact, so many of you have embraced my experience. Your support has been vital to keeping me on the right track. I treasure the authentic conversations and meaningful relationships I have built with so many of you.
And now it is time for a pause. It’s not I have run out of things to say, on the contrary, I have so much more to say. But I continue to struggle on how to share it. I find myself carefully measuring my words as not not hurt or offend people that I love, ensuring I am using my words as helpful tools not deadly weapons. Yes, I could write about other issues, safer topics, and relatable antcedotes, but that feels inauthentic to me. I have heavy stuff on my heart and mind right now and those, like always, are the things I want to write about. Being real is the point of this blog,. But right now, I can’t.
I promise I will return, when I find the words, or rather the courage to share them.
Thank you for taking the time to read this every week and for your ongoing words of encouragement and support. I am forever grateful. This is not the end of the story, just a pivot into a whole new chapter.